Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
