I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
