What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
