I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
