I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
