I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
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I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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