So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
