just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
birth control should be required to get into college
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
