i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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