It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
