i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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