I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
