So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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