If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
it's like heaven, but drunker
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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