Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
