I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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