so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
