Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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