He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
