is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
