Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
