it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
