Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
zippers are such a cool invention
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
