I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Panties = found
Randomize