i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
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Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
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Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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