I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
