Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
