Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
