Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
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I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize