If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
