I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
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Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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