JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
