do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
