i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
