I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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