maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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