Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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