Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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