I could make wine with my vomit
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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