Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
