Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
