Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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