i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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