Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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