take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just google imaged poop.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
