I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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