I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think people are normalizing furries
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
