why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize