Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
