I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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