Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
