she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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