New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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