Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
