I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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