Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize