that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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