how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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