im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
