The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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