Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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