I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
