I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
