The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
