oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
