Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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