4 words: hood of his car
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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